Adoption is a deeply personal and life-changing decision. Ajourney filled with both profound joy and complicated emotions!
So, making the right decisions can make a huge difference for both birth parents and adoptive families. One such decision is whether you want a closed adoption or seek a level of openness.
You have three adoption options: closed, open, and semi-open. The choice between these three options defines your commitment to the child’s well-being, your understanding of the birth family’s needs, and your willingness to navigate the complexities of building a family through adoption.
Although Forever Families is here to guide and navigate you through the decision-making, it is also helpful to stay educated. So, in this blog, we will explore all your adoption options, shedding light on the deeply emotional and practical aspects of each choice.
Let’s take a look:
Closed Adoption
As the term suggests, a closed adoption involves sharing or exchanging “no” information between birth families and adoptive families. No personal identity or contact information is shared between the parties involved. Biological parents do not stay in contact or play an active role in the life of the adopted child.
So, a closed adoption maintains a high level of privacy for both the adoptive and biological parents. Since the information is kept confidential, a closed adoption is also termed as confidential adoption.
Historically, closed adoption remained the most common option. Because of the social stigma around single motherhood and the burden of unplanned pregnancy, expecting mothers would hide their pregnancies from family, friends, and society. In such situations, closed adoption gives the privacy that birth mothers seek.
However, by choosing closed adoption, birth parents lost contact with their children forever, leaving them to wonder what had happened to their baby. Similarly, adoptive parents and adoptees have trouble accessing closed adoption records. Moreover, it does not allow birth parents to choose the family for their baby. So, this option has become less preferred these days, giving rise to open adoption.
Pros:
- High level of privacy
- Clear boundaries
- No room for misunderstands or future conflicts
Cons:
- Lack of information
- Identity questions
- Missed relationships
- Can be emotionally bad for birth parents
Open Adoption
Do you want to see your child growing up through photos, phone calls, and visits?
Do you want to be able to share his or her birth story?
Maybe you want to know if your child is safe and healthy with the adoptive family.
If your answer is “yes,” open adoption is the right option for you.
What is open adoption: Open adoption allows birth parents to maintain some level of contact with adoptive parents and the adopted child. The communication may take place through phone calls, emails, letters, or even visits, as agreed. The type and frequency of contact depend on the choices and needs of everyone involved and may change over time. In addition, being a birth mother, you may participate in the process of choosing an adoptive parent for your baby.
In the 21st century, open adoption has become the most preferred form, and for good reasons. Over time, open adoption has proved to be beneficial for everyone involved, including the birth family, the adoptive family, and the adopted child. Today, 95% of infant adoptions are open adoptions. According to the Adoption Network, two-thirds of birth parents stay in contact with the adoptee.
However, it’s worth noting that open adoption is not co-parenting. Despite any level of openness, only adoptive parents hold permanent legal rights for parenting and raising the child, like all other adoption options.
Also, open adoption may look different to different families. Many people think that open adoption allows frequent contact and in-person visits with each other. Both families might become part of every parenting decision. On the other hand, some adoptive parents may restrict the types and amount of contact with the birth family.
It all depends on the terms and conditions agreed between the birth parents and the adoptive family. Depending on the level of openness, open adoption can be further categorized as full-open adoption and semi-open adoption.
Full-Open Adoption
As the term suggests, full-open adoption allows birth families to have direct contact with the adoptive parents and the child. Both families share identifying information about one another. Full-open adoption allows both families to share their love and bond with the adopted child.
Pros:
- Communication and information
- Access to medical history
- Emotional support
Cons:
- Complex relationships
- Potential conflict
- Unrealistic expectations
Semi-Open Adoption
Semi-open adoption allows birth mothers and adoptive families to exchange contact, but identifying information remains private. As per this option, interactions between all parties involved are mediated by a third party, like a lawyer, an agency caseworker, or other go-between. That is why semi-adoption is also termed mediated adoption.
This option is typically preferred by adoptive families and birth parents who want to maintain their privacy during and after the adoption process. Birth parents choose semi-open adoption to avoid less intimate contact with their children. On the other hand, adoptive parents pick this option for maintaining their child’s connection with his or her birth parents while protecting their privacy.
To maintain privacy, adoptive families first send letters or photos to the mediator, which forwards them to the birth parents without revealing anyone’s identity. In some cases, anonymous meetings may be organized with the prospective adoptive family, which means the family’s names and contact information are not shared.
Pros:
- Limited contact and information
- Clear boundaries
- The balance between openness and privacy
Cons:
- Potential for misunderstanding
- Less information compared to open
- Identity questions may still arise
Which Adoption Option is Right For You?
Well, there is no one-size-fits-all option. It all depends on the unique needs and wishes of the birth family and adoptive parents. If you are prepared to lose contact with your child, then you can opt for closed adoption. But if you want to stay informed about your child’s whereabouts and life events and want to see him or her growing up, then opt for open adoption.