Gestational surrogacy was once a privilege reserved for affluent Hollywood figures seeking to expand their families. However, today, this option is becoming more accessible, particularly for LGBTQIA couples, individuals, and women facing challenges in carrying their own child. The CDC reported that between 1999 and 2013, at least 18,400 infants were born through surrogacy in the United States.
Adoption has long been a heartwarming choice for family building, though it comes with legal complexities and emotional hurdles when dealing with birth mothers or adoption agencies. Adoptive parents lack a biological connection to the child, making the process unsuitable for everyone.
If you’re contemplating family-building options, understanding the distinctions between gestational surrogacy and adoption boils down to a few key factors.
Similarities and Differences between Surrogacy and Adoption
Both processes share similarities and differences, and understanding the specific terminology associated with each is crucial from the outset. In adoption, prospective parents are termed “adoptive parents,” while in surrogacy, they are known as “intended parents.” Despite these differences, the ultimate goal remains the same—to become parents.
In surrogacy, the woman carrying the child is typically called a “gestational carrier” or “gestational surrogate.” While some may still use the term “surrogate mother,” it is outdated as the true parents are the “intended parents.” Modern surrogacy rarely involves a biological connection between the surrogate and the child, a departure from traditional surrogacy practices, which are now largely illegal due to ethical concerns.
Adoption is the legal process of uniting a child, already conceived or born, with adults assuming parental responsibilities. Americans adopt an average of 135,000 children annually, often through foster care, adoption agencies, or international adoption. Open adoptions, allowing contact with birth parents, are increasingly common.
Surrogacy, in contrast, occurs when a woman carries a baby on behalf of those unable to conceive. This could be due to infertility, health issues, or the desire for LGBTQ+ individuals to build a family. Surrogate matches with parents, undergoes IVF, gets compensation for carrying the child.
Timeline and Costs of Surrogacy vs. Adoption
Both surrogacy and adoption entail unpredictable timelines, making it challenging to set firm expectations. The surrogacy timeline involves intensive screening for intended parents and gestational surrogates, spanning six to nine months on average. The adoption process, characterized by rigorous screening and potential waitlists, varies widely based on individual circumstances.
Concerning costs, both options require significant financial commitments. Working with agencies is common in both surrogacy and adoption. Adoption costs include legal fees, home study expenses, medical fees for the birth mother, and travel costs. Birth mothers typically do not receive compensation beyond medical assistance. Surrogacy costs, dependent on the agency and additional services, encompass agency fees, medical expenses, and compensation for the gestational surrogate. Some intended parents pursue surrogacy independently, but medical and legal expenses remain.
Pros and Cons of Surrogacy and Adoption
Intended parents often choose surrogacy for the biological connection to their child. However, surrogacy lacks national regulation in the U.S., leading to state-specific statutes. Legal considerations are crucial in international surrogacy. The legal process involves thorough matching and agreements to ensure a secure surrogacy journey.
Adoption’s benefits include offering a home to children in need and potentially lower costs. However, legal uncertainties arise as birth mothers can change their minds after birth. Decisions on open or closed adoptions and post-delivery contact must be carefully navigated.
Ultimately, whether surrogacy or adoption is better depends on individual circumstances. Forever Families, experienced in guiding intended parents through gestational surrogacy, emphasizes the unique stories unfolding in the conception, surrogate pregnancy, and birth process. Choosing between surrogacy and adoption requires a thoughtful evaluation of the respective pros and cons, ensuring the best fit for each family’s unique journey.
The decision between surrogacy and adoption is a deeply personal one, requiring careful consideration of additional factors. Beyond legal and financial aspects, emotional and ethical considerations play a crucial role in determining the best path for family building.
Emotional and Ethical Considerations
Surrogacy: The emotional journey in surrogacy involves the anticipation of a biological connection with the child. Intended parents often experience the excitement of sharing pregnancy milestones with the gestational surrogate. However, potential emotional challenges may arise if the gestational surrogate decides to maintain a relationship post-birth or if there are unforeseen complications during the pregnancy.
Ethically, navigating the absence of national surrogacy laws in the U.S. demands careful consideration. Intended parents and surrogates collaborate with agencies and legal experts for a legally sound match, considering varied state laws.
Adoption: The emotional landscape of adoption is marked by the desire to provide a loving home to a child in need. The joy of welcoming a child into the family is tempered by the legal uncertainties inherent in adoption. The birth mother’s right to change her mind adds uncertainty, impacting adoptive parents emotionally during adoption.
Ethical considerations in adoption involve decisions on open or closed adoptions. Determining the level of contact between birth parents and the adoptive family requires thoughtful discussion and agreement.
Post-Delivery Contact
Surrogacy: Post-birth, the intended parents and gestational surrogate decide on the level of ongoing contact. Some families choose to maintain a relationship, sharing updates and maintaining a connection, while others may prefer limited contact. Clear communication and mutual understanding are crucial in establishing post-delivery expectations.
Adoption: The post-adoption relationship varies based on whether it’s an open or closed adoption. Open adoptions allow for ongoing contact between birth parents and adoptive families, fostering a sense of connection. Closed adoptions, on the other hand, maintain limited or no contact between the two parties. Deciding the extent of post-adoption contact is an essential aspect of the adoption process.
Public Perception and Social Dynamics
Surrogacy: Public perceptions of surrogacy can vary, and intended parents may face questions or misconceptions about the nature of their family-building journey. Navigating societal attitudes and educating others about the surrogacy process may be part of the experience for those who choose this path.
Adoption: While adoption is widely accepted, adoptive parents may encounter questions about the child’s background or face potential societal biases. Cultivating a supportive community and embracing openness about the adoption journey can help navigate societal dynamics.
Giving a Home to a Child in Need
Choosing adoption over surrogacy stems from the desire to give an existing child a loving home. Adoption, at its core, is a testament to empathy and a commitment to making a positive impact on a child’s life.
Choosing adoption reflects a selfless act of opening one’s heart and home to a child who may have faced challenging circumstances. It allows individuals or couples to extend their love and support to a child, fostering a sense of compassion and altruism. For those motivated by the belief in giving every child the opportunity for a stable and caring family environment, adoption can be a deeply fulfilling and purpose-driven choice.
While both surrogacy and adoption are valid paths to parenthood, the decision ultimately hinges on personal values, priorities, and the unique circumstances of those embarking on the journey to expand their families. Adoption stands out as a noble choice for those seeking to make a positive impact on a child’s life and create a family founded on compassion and shared humanity.
Conclusion
Choosing between surrogacy and adoption involves a comprehensive evaluation of legal, financial, emotional, and ethical factors. Unique challenges and rewards define surrogacy and adoption. The choice depends on individual values, preferences, and circumstances in parenthood. Forever Families remains dedicated to assisting intended parents, recognizing the multifaceted nature of each family’s story and the importance of navigating these considerations with care and compassion.
Adoption shows up as a lovely and kind alternative for people drawn to the meaningful act of giving a child in need a home. Our staff at Forever Families is prepared to help you through the adoption process. We provide knowledgeable counseling, steadfast support, and a plethora of resources to guarantee a happy and easy transition to motherhood.
Get in contact with us right now if you’re prepared to start the process of creating your forever family via adoption. Allow us to be your partners in this life-changing event, providing support, empathy, and the know-how required to successfully negotiate the challenging journey to motherhood. Here is where your path to building a devoted and long-lasting family begins, and we are grateful to be on it.