Adopting is a complex journey that comes in various shapes, and a lot of folks lean towards open adoption, especially for local adoptions. In this piece, we dive into a family’s real-life story as they figure out the ins and outs of open adoption, giving a peek into how things change between adoptive and birth parents over time.
The Decision to Foster and Adopt
Christa Hogan, a mom of two boys, wanted to grow her family by getting into foster care. Driven by a simple wish to offer a caring home to kids who needed it, Hogan and her husband got really into the whole adoption thing when they had the chance to adopt their first foster kid—this super lively little boy.
The Landscape of Open Adoption
The Children’s Bureau says most adoptions in the US are open, making up 60% to 70% of the total. Leah Atkins, this lady from Atlanta who’s into interior design and parenting, talks about her open adoption gig. She’s all about the real connections she’s made with her kids’ birth moms. And get this, it’s not what you’d expect – she’s all about the cool friendships that have sprouted up between her family and the birth families.
The Spectrum of Openness
Open adoption comes in different flavors. It’s like a scale, you know? Some folks go for direct talks and back-and-forth stuff, while others keep it anonymous with agencies in the middle. Take Hogan and her crew, for example. In the beginning, they were into just sending stuff one way to their son’s birth mom. Letters and pics went through the adoption agency’s address. But as time rolled on, things changed. It’s all about what works for everyone and how comfy they feel with it.
From Secrecy to Social Media
The adoption scene in the U.S. used to be all hush-hush, especially after World War II when they were all about keeping things under wraps. But things have changed as adoptees and their fams started speaking up against the whole secrecy vibe. Now, with social media and DNA tests in the mix, adoptees and birth families can do their own thing and reconnect without jumping through hoops.
Benefits of Open Adoption
Research suggests that having open adoptions is good for adoptees. Kids in open adoptions tend to do better socially and mentally, and they end up with a stronger sense of who they are compared to kids in closed adoptions. Dr. John DeGarmo, who’s a parent and started The Foster Care Institute, points out that open adoptions are beneficial for both adoptive and birth families. It gives adoptees the opportunity to deal with feelings of loss and get important answers.
Navigating Relationships
Connecting with birth families comes with its upsides, but it’s not always a walk in the park. You’ve got to be mindful of the adopted kid’s feelings and safety. Dr. DeGarmo suggests taking it slow, being patient, and giving the child space to decide when they’re ready to reach out. The main focus should be on keeping them physically and mentally okay throughout the process.
Challenges and Rewards
Hogan’s family grappled with the dilemma of deciding when it was okay for their son to meet his birth mother. This brought up the tricky task of balancing curiosity with safety. Adoptive parents need to be aware of their children’s individual needs, especially if they’ve been through tough times like abuse or neglect. It’s crucial to handle any contact with care and sensitivity.
Final Thoughts
Open adoption is a big change in how adoption works in the U.S. Hogan’s family is an example of how things are changing between adoptive and birth families. This change helps heal and understand things, and it helps adoptees find answers about where they come from. The move from keeping things secret to being open is part of a larger shift in society to accept that adoption is complicated. Each story adds to the diversity of family and connections.
If you’re going through a similar journey to build your forever family through adoption, you’re not alone. Forever Families is a support group that’s here for you at every step. Whether you’re just starting the adoption process, need counseling, or ongoing support, we have services designed for you.
Check out our website to find the resources, advice, and community we offer. Our team is dedicated to helping you navigate the complexities of adoption, creating a supportive space for both adoptive and birth families.
Remember, your journey toward a forever family is unique, and Forever Families is here to ensure that every step is taken with care, compassion, and expert assistance. Together, we can make the dream of a loving forever family a reality.